you have questions.. I have answers.

-My family was rushing around... To the hospital, back home, wondering what happened.
She was ok, but needed to be in the hospital for a while...

They didn't know how it happened... she seemed fine that day... how could she have fallen...
They then thought it may have been her medication...

My aunt went to check out her medications... I instantly felt sick... What the hell was I going to do?

I had a 12mg pill, and the first thing on my mind was getting high... After I was high, I could solve all my problems... Or so I thought...

I snorted the pill in the bathroom... while my parents were downstiars...
I had to sneak a spoon up, but forgot the plate... so I crushed the beads up on the side of the bathtub..

It made this loud crunching sound.. Like when you dig your feet into gravel.. Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch..
As soon as I stopped and did up the lines; my mom knocked on the bathroom door and asked if I was ok.. I said yes. She asked what that noise was.. I told her I was spinning the empty toilet paper tube on the roller..

She told me to "cut it out" .. "Ok mom, sorry!"

I just had an answer for everything.. The door wasn't even locked.. If she opened it up, I would have been found out. But the last thing on her mind was that I was doing something bad.. I was her son, her baby.. I wasn't bad.. I was a good kid..

When I would get high, I would have energy.. I was motivated, I would talk more, problem solve, and always want to help out.

My parents were talking about the medication my grandmother was taking.. They were saying the name wrong... I corrected them, and told them I learned about it in school... And that it's almost as powerful as heroin. And effects the elderly more than it would an average person.

They were surprised I knew all this, but were grateful. And believed my story about learning it in school..
My aunt was calling, and asked if I noticed anything different about her yesterday.. I said she seemed fine..

We got a call later, saying about 12 of her pills were missing.. And they didn't know what happened to them. They thought she may have taken them in the middle of the night.. And all these other weird things.

They thought maybe my cousin who lived with my grandmother took them..
They asked him, and hounded him about it.. And I feel horrible about that..

They then asked me.. And I told them " I've never even smoked weed before, I wouldn't take drugs. That's stupid" And they never even thought to ask me again.. That was that..

They figured maybe she spilled them, or dropped them down the sink..

My aunt took the pill bottle to her house, so that was the end of that.. 

My Nan was ok, thank god.. But they didn't want her living on her own anymore.. Her house had stairs, and they couldn't risk her falling down them or having to walk up and down them all the time. There wasn't a bathroom downstairs..

The idea of modifying the house came up.. But eventually they decided against that.. My Nan ended up moving into a senior’s complex. A single floor building, with no stairs.. And it was close to all of us.

They were so grateful I was always there to help.. But the horrible part was, I was an addict. And not only was I there to help her.. I was there to help myself.....

-End