Lunch break..

So, I made it through my calls... all messed up... talking a mile a minute.. I was a good worker when I was there.. even when I was high.. I could make lots of sales; And the customers loved me.

I had maybe 10 minutes till I could leave for lunch.. I wanted to collect this transfer.. I signed out in training mode? or something like that, and left.

I walked out the front doors after locking my computer... and I went to western union... which wasn't very far from work.. I went in, and grabbed a collect sheet.. I filled it out, and passed the sheet in to the worker.


"It's for $350.00 ?" he said... "Yes?" "OK sir, what's it for? " ... I said "well, even though I don't have to answer that, it's for a video game system I'm selling on line"

"Oh, OK... Do you want check or cash?"  ... "Cash please"

I was really nervous.. I thought maybe I got busted for what I was doing... but nope, I got the money and left out the door..

I walked to McDonalds, and bought a meal, ate it... then went back to work.
My supervisor saw me, and said to me "Why did you sign out 10 minutes early?" " I told you I was sick... I had to run to the bathroom" "Oh, OK.. but listen Neil, one of the workers here said that you're doing the dillies"

Shittttttt... I thought.. What could I even say ?

"Dillies? ... do you mean dilaudids? " "Yes, but he told me they call them dillies"
Well, it's not any of your business, or anyone else's... but I'm prescribed hydromorphone 8 mgs every 4-6 hours."  "Oh, OK... sorry for asking, we just need to check up on things" "well I'm not a drug addict, I use them for chronic pain from an accident I had.. I can bring in my prescription if you'd like" .. "No, that's fine Neil, I just had to check it out.. I'm sorry" and then he walked away..

As soon as he turned away from me, I turned.. and took a deep breath.... "wow" I thought... "I almost lost my job and got caught.. he could have called the police on me"

I was pretty worried, and I went to the bathroom, and snorted 3 more 8's..
I went back to work, and finished the rest of the day up..

A girl I knew was driving me back.. I got her to drop me off about a 10 minute walk from home...
I walked to Marcus's and bought some pills, and gave him 100dollars on my bill.
I walked home, and stopped at Tim hortons first and met up with two of my friends.

I snorted a few pills in the bathroom.. and when I was doing my last pill, some big guy looked through the crack... "He's doing drugs in there! " he yelled when he left the bathroom... I did the last one, and washed the powder off my face.. and walked out... me and the other two guys took off and walked to the medical center.

I bought a gram somewhere along the way, and we all smoked up... sitting talking..
I didn't share much of what was going on in my life, but they knew I was using drugs a little bit.. just not to the extent of my actually habit.

We chilled the rest of the night, and I walked home... mom was still up, and she was watching tv..

I remember she asked me "are you OK?" "What do you mean mom?"
..."Well, Are you OK?" "Of course I am... Do you mean am I on drugs? Because I'm not... I told you, I'm done with that"  "OK Hun, I was just checking"

My mother loved me.. and I think she kind of knew I might have been using then.. but in her own heart she prayed I wasn't.... So she wanted to believe what I was saying..

I went to bed early that night... I had to work the next day..

.. Now, in my next few blogs I'm going to be getting into a bit of trouble..

Tomorrow, I'm writing 3 blogs that are important... So I suggest you read them around 4:00pm.(AST)

Thanks guys!