Court, debts and detox...

I was sitting in the police station...
What the hell was I going to do?

They brought my mom down... she took one look at me.. and started balling... they opened the cell door so she could give me a hug... "It's gonna be OK, just tell them the truth Neil, Just tell them the truth... I love you"
Then she left..

My emotions were All over the place... I didn't know what to think, what was going to happen... I thought I was going to Juvie.. I was terrified.

I was charged with possession of a firearm with readily accessible ammunition and possession of a restricted firearm.... They had to keep me until I went to court the next day at 9Am..

This was the first time I went to jail... this was serious stuff...

They hauled me into the interrogation room.. and started asking me questions..
"Why did you have this gun? Were you going to sell it to your friend you were with?"
I replied "No, he didn't even know I had it... I took it for protection, I owed a lot of money, and I didn't want anything to happen to me"

They let Matt go, and put me back in my cell..

They bought me supper.. and I laid there... the Jailer gave me a few smokes..

I went to sleep... crying the whole time..

I woke up... and I found out later that the school was locked down... They thought I was going to the school with the gun... and even though I didn't... I got kicked out of school..

They told me to get ready.. and they let me put my shoes and coat on... they got me a coffee... and we got into the back of the police cruiser... I was really starting to feel sick... it sucked... on the way... they kept asking me who I bought drugs off of, who was after me... all that stuff... I told them I couldn't talk about that.. and they should just stop asking now, because I won't talk about it..

They were giving me smokes.. and telling me how much potential I had, and they were asking me why I was wasting my life like that.. I felt so sick, but I kept trying to stop myself from throwing up...

We got to the courthouse... they led me up there.. and they put me in a cell...it was pink.. it had low lighting.. and there was nothing in it except a little bench, and a steel toilet and sink in one corner..  I had a pretty long wait before the judge would see me.. 

They slid the paperwork for a lawyer under my door.. I filled it out for legal aid at first..
I asked for a few readers digest to read.. they gave me two..
I was sitting on the bench in there... and I was looking through my pockets, to see if the cops missed anything... maybe I had something hidden..

nothing... I took my coat off, and saw a small hole in the lining.. then it hit me... I hid 5 8's in there and 3 ativan 2mg pills.. I hid it in case my parents found my stash one time.. but I was high when I did this, so it slipped my mind... I tore into the hole, found the baggy.. and took it out.. I started crushing the pills right in the baggy with the plastic lens from my glasses... they crushed pretty each.. and then I put it in my pocket...

I looked out the cell door window to make sure there were no sheriffs around... I sat back down, and ripped a piece of mail-order cardboard out of the readers digest.. I rolled it up, and licked it on one side... and made myself a small tube...

I turned toward the toilet, to pretend I was taking a pee, in case one of the sheriffs looked in the window..
I opened the baggie up, and snorted as much as I could with one nostril.. I then shoved the tube into my other nostril and snorted as much of the powder as I could..

I repeated the process again... until there was barely anything left...
I ripped open the baggy and licked the rest of the powder off of it... I then wrapped the baggy and the tube in toilet paper.. and flushed it down...

I checked my nose in the little mirror, and made sure there was no powder running down my face.. or on my nose..

I sat back down... waiting for the drugs to kick in.. to relive this torment.. this anxiety, this horrible feeling I had inside me.. the guilt, the shame... everything I had done.. I was so worried about seeing my parents in the court room... what would I even say to them?

Just then I heard Banging, and screaming and yelling... This young girl, probably 17 or 18 was screaming and freaking out... kicking her cell door, and yelling at the guards..
It was a mess.. they ran in and told her if she didn't stop they would restrain her in cuffs and shackles... they left, and she kept doing it... so they took her to another room... I didn't hear her again..

My time was up... "Neil Calder!" said the bailiff... they unlocked my cell, and took my in the court room..
I was standing up while the judge came in.. and the sheriff told me to sit down... my lawyer came up to me and told me she was trying to get me released to my parents custody under a writ.

After 5 minutes of the lawyer talking with the crown, they agreed to let me go... I was taken back to my cell while my paper work was written up and printed off..

It was the longest wait in my life..

I still wasn't feeling high, or any relief... I was still feeling sick... I sucked air in my nose, and felt a lot of powder move...

They came to get me as soon as I did that... I had to sign 10 different papers or more..

... I was no free to go...

I walked out into the hallway... And....

-End.