No school blues..

Not being able to go to school was getting to me..

I had so much free time on my hands, it drove me insane.. I ended up finding a new job. This job was great, and I loved going each day. My boss was an awesome guy, who was always there for me. It turned out to be more of a friendship then a professional working relationship.

The first day he picked me up, he seemed so laid back. I didn't figure he'd mind, so I popped two adderall in front of him. He said he didn't care at the time, but I could tell he wasn't exactly thrilled about it.

That day he worked me like a dog.. He told me he did because I took those drugs. He wanted to see what I was made of.. He told me he figured I wouldn't show up the next day. When I did, he said he was surprised. And he found it funny that I wouldn't take the pills again.

That day I had a lot of energy. I worked hard all morning, but the pills started to wear off...
He took me out for lunch, but I didn't feel like eating. I told him I didn't want anything, but he made me order.
I ordered an omelet.. and forced it down.
We went back to work, and he finished working me as hard as he could.

When I showed up the next day he was glad I did, he was also glad I didn't take those pills again, but little did he know my habit didn't matter. I would do them anywhere, anytime and I always tried to hide it.

Getting to know him and his family was great. We worked hard everyday, he bought be lunch, supper, coffee and smokes.. I got to know all about him, he was a great guy, and I was happy to be working for him.
The only problem with all of this, was my addiction.. and before long I let it get in the way.

We worked hard all summer. I was cutting back on my using, because I couldn't use before work, or i'd be tired all day. I ended up using after work. Every night. I was down to using once a day, which was a great improvement for me. But I started smoking weed more to compensate for my cravings.

I was making a lot of money, getting healthier, and for the first time, kindddd of had my addiction under control. It was easier to hide, or so I thought.. because I would only do it around 7:00. Stay out till 9:00, go to bed and go to work.

I thought I had it made, I thought I had it hid from everyone...

One night, I called my boss, and asked him to drop off 50 dollars out of what I worked so far.. I told him I needed to pay my parents back or something like that..

He drove down, and dropped it off to me. I ran out of the shed I was hanging out in with a few friends and got the money.. he looked at me and said "what the hell is wrong with you?" "Oh I'm just stoned I said"... oh yeah? Well you've never acted like that before... "Oh, I took a couple of Valium too, I'm prescribed it though, so it's all right"..

He could tell I was on something.... I didn't know he could tell... could everyone tell?
I was only taking a 24mg pill each night. that was it. And I wouldn't be sick unless I went past the 24 hour mark.

I took the money he gave me and traded it for pills.. I got 10 12's off  a guy I know for 50 bucks.. and that's all the had, so I did everything I could to come up with the money.. my last chance was calling my boss. And lying to him to get a cash advance..

This triggered a series of events which I'm not very proud of, and I'll get into it tomorrow.

Thanks for reading. And I'm sorry when I miss a day or 2. I've been answering lots of questions through emails I get.. and Its very time consuming! So I'm sorry, but i'm really going to start getting more into my blog again.

Thanks guys!

-Neil.