Why get rid of them when I can just get more?..And More... And more....

I got up and went to the bathroom... I slept for at least 10 hours...
It was hard to get going this morning, usually I was sick and motivated to sniff whatever pills I had..
But today,  was different... I just wasted almost 2 weeks of clean time for an extremely horrible night..

I had no plans for today, it was after 2:00pm and I should have been craving..
I came down the stairs and made myself a coffee after washing my face and shaving..
I sat down in the living room, and started watching TV.. Nothing on..
Checked my cell phone, Only a few messages and no one wanted to do anything this afternoon.. I was getting sort of depressed, and Sort of down in the dumps...

My parents weren't talking to me much, it was sort of strained, they could tell something was up, but wouldn't even ask me what I did last night, or when I got home.. My family life was falling to pieces..

My mother told me later on in my life, that almost every night she would sneak in my room, and lay her head on my chest.. or put her hand just above my mouth to make sure I was still breathing... I didn't even realize the pain my addiction was causing them... I had no idea..

I went online, and found a guy I used with once in awhile, I had him search up Oxymorphone... He told me he'd love to try it, and told me if I had any to be careful with them, because if your tolerance is down you can overdoes pretty quickly if you're shooting it.. this guy shot, I didn't..

I told him I came across 1 opana 40, and that was the only one I could get.. They were VERY rare to see in Atlantic Canada at the time..  He said "you have an entire 40?!?!?" once he said this, I realized I found a great opiate.. he told me to stop over, so I did...

I said hi to his wife, and we went upstairs to his bedroom.. He pulled out his needle kit, and I grabbed a plate and a spoon before coming upstairs.. I told him I'd give him half of it for 20 dollars (I told him I paid 40 for it)
He said "Awesome, that's a hell of a deal" ... He took his half and did his thing, then crushed it up, but left a little chunk of the pill out of the spoon, and set it in one of his baggies...

I crushed the entire half, and snorted it... and it was like I just snorted 5 dilaudid 8's, only better..
The rush came on faster, and lasted longer, and I felt like I was floating... I was sitting in a big chair, and it felt like it was leaning back on me, it was weird.. I was in a purely euphoric state.. I didn't care about anything except this... I laid with my eyes closed, smoking a cigarette, wrapped up in a blue blanket... it was flece so it felt really good wrapped around me... I opened my eyes, and looked over at him.. he was just getting ready to inject it.. he had it cooling down in a spoon, it took him a bit of time to cook it up... anyway, I sat there, smoking... and watched him put a belt around his arm..

He held the other end of the belt in his arm..
He was squeezing his fist over and over, and pumped up his veins.. they were pretty gross looking, but I didn't care... he tipped the needle up into the air, and flicked it 4 or 5 times with his finger.. then pushed the plunger in until a bead of clear liquid was sitting on the tip of the needle itself..

He picked a vein, and stuck the rig in.. he fished around a little bit, then lightly pulled back on the plunger, I saw blood ender the syringe ... Then he pushed the plunger in while releasing the belt from his teeth..

He put the orange cap back on the needle and then... Made the weirdest sounds I've ever heard..
It sounded like he was having an orgasm.... and laid down on the floor... he put a pillow under his head and curled up into the fetal position.. he was still making noises... saying "Ohhh F##K this feels amazing.. I wish heroin felt this good... F#@KKKKK" ... He lit a smoke, and started puffing on it, He was out and wasn't waking up... but he was breathing... I couldn't get him to wake up, and when I finnally did, he'd pass back out in less then 2-3 minutes.. I just laid there... texting a girl I liked... and then called her on the phone..

I laid there wrapped up, talking to her for over 2 hours, and then told her I had to go... I told her I'd meet here somewhere later that night, around 9... It was now 7... I was coming down.. and the guy I was with was coming too.... "Can you get anymore? please tell me you can!" ..

I might be able to, but they're expensive, and I want something for doing it.... "hold on he said"
He went downstairs, and came back with a can... he opened it up, and passed me 400 dollars... I want 10... but see if he'll do 14 for 400... if you can get the extras... you can have them.... OK I said..  I need money for a cab, because he doesn't want anyone else to know where he lives." Take 12 bucks out of that can... I took 32 because he was nodding off and wasn't paying attention... I hit the jackpot, or so I thought...

I called the taxi, they came and got me.. I called the guy right before I went out there, and told him I had a 420 dollar laptop I just bought, and wanted to know if he could fix it for me... And he said "Yeah sure, come on over" ... This is a routine with most drug dealers... if you're calling them you can' just say "I have 420 bucks to give you" .. .You can't say " I need 30 pills!" it doesn't work like that.. if they were being listened too by the police, they would know instantly... every dealer has a different thing you can say to them.. It's a weird part of the drug sub-culture, and sort of interesting..

Anyway, I got to his house.. I went in, and he told me to come upstairs to his bedroom..
He pulled out his bag of opanas.. and two other bags of weird pills I've never seen before... How many opanas do you want? "Well I have over 400 dollars, so I want a deal.... I want 21 Opana's at 20 a piece, but I want you to throw in 5 or 6 extra for the deal"

"I can't do that" he said... I love these... I'll sell you 21 Opana's for 420 dollars.. but for the deal I can't trade you opanas.. but I have hydromorphone contins... OK, let me see...
He showed me a bag of pure white capsules mixed with a few baby blue pills.... "What the fuck are these?.. these aren't hydromorphone contin.. and they're 32 mg.. the highest they make them in 30mg's" I said ....

"Not in America... These are called palladone, they're 32mg hydromorphone.. and they're easier to crush up, the beads aren't as tough... "These say "P X-L on one side then  32mg on the other side of them"
The white one's are 32mg the baby blues are 24's"

"Well How many of those will you give me for the deal?" "Uh, 5 sound good?" Nah come on man I know you only pay 2-3 bucks for all of these... give me at least 10... and I'll bring you more business like this..."
"Well how about this... I'll give you 8 of them plus I'll give you 5 Xanax 2's" OK I said..

He opened the Palladone bag, and gave me 8 of them... he pulled out the Xanax bag, and passed me these long bar shaped pills that actually said xanax on them and 2 on one side.. they were scored 3 or 4 times... "weird, this is the first time I've seen the x-bars" I said, or something like that... Can I get two baggies? .. "Yeah sure" the dealers said..

I put 12 Opana's in one bag, and then I put 9 Opana's, 8-Palladone 32mg pills, and 5  2mgXanax bars in the other... I put this in my wallet, and put it down in my secret pocket..

I called the cab back, it got there.. in like 5 minutes... I went back to see my user friend, and gave him the bag with 12 Opana's in it... He took out 11 of them, and passed me 1... "You said you would give me whatever I could get for the extra deal" ... "Well I was the one who spent the money" he said "Well I was the one who went out there risking my neck to buy off some psycho... Plus I gave you a half of one and you didn't even pay me for it yet... "Well here take the other one then.." Well where's my 20 bucks? "Look what you just got, you're not getting it" .... "Whatever man, you're an asshole... I'm leaving"

As I was leaving, I had an evil smile on my face... addicts always scam other addicts.... Now, with this being said, I didn't screw over some of my addict friends, but a lot of them ripped me off or stole from me... it's a disease and you don't care who you hurt, you just need you fix..

I walked back home, and Snorted another half of an opana..
When I got there I ate some supper. I tried talking to my parents.. But they got mad at me that night because They could tell I was high; they said "You're nodding off" And I was sure I wasn't.. but I must have been... I ate and stormed off to my room all mad about it.. So I snorted another half...
I also took a 5mg Dexedrine pill to keep my heart beating in case it was too much..

I ended up passing out, and didn't wake up till the next day.... and I thought I was dreaming.... Until I went downstairs, reached into my coat.. and found the bag of pills... This was crazy, I had all of these drugs, plus I still had 2 more Opana's in my room... but stock was getting replenished, and I was content again.. but I wasn't sure exactly what happened last night.. I called  the guy I used with, and I told him I was sorry for freaking out.. and he said he was sorry too... he told me to come buy later and he'd split another pill for me... I told him I couldn't, because I was waiting to work out a deal for some dilaudids... I told him i'd stop buy in a day or two...

-Neil.

Might seem like this is just a war story, but in my blog tomorrow, you'll understand why I wrote this blog like this... Just wait for part two.. And to all the users reading.. Most of you know what you're doing... but just be careful.. you know Narcan is the only thing to save you from an opiate overdoes.. but I just don't want my blogs getting someone craving a certain drug and making them relapse, so I'm going to give up most of the drug details in the future.. thanks for reading, stay informed, and be aware of what dangers are out there...

Thanks!