End of summer/turning to fall.. (Part 1 )

I was back home by now, and things were going OK..
I'd been to detox one more time, and left early..

I took a drug program they had there, and left during the last afternoon of it..
there was less than 2 hours left.. but I had a little over 100 bucks, and drugs were all I could think about.. So I had to go, my mind was made up, and no one could change it. 

They were asking me "Are you sure you want to sign out? you're almost done"
I told them I was sure, and I just wanted to leave..

So I signed out at the nurses station, my duffel bag was already packed.. and that was that..

When I left I was over a week clean.. but the only thing on my mind was scoring and getting high.. that was it..
I went to see Marcus' .. but he was out, he didn't have anything..
So I stopped at a few other places.. Everyone was out, and I was getting angry..

There was only one option left..

It was a beautiful sunny day out, and the birds were chirpping.. The summer was over though.. I belive this was late September.... but today was beautiful
I went to an older mans house I heard of and knew he had drugs he sold sometimes.. .. I heard through a few people he was selling some of his medication.. This man was close to 80 years old, and I didn't want to bug him..but I needed to score.
When I knocked on the door, he yelled at me to come in, with a raspy scratchy voice..

"Sit down" He said... "I know who you are.. I've seen you around.. You're that calder kid...You want a coffee?"
"No, I'm OK"...I said... Feeling very out of place..
"No, have one, you're gonna be here a bit so you might as well get comfortable" - He said In his raspy voice.

I sat and talked to him for a while.. he made me a coffee.. It was like muck, and stronger than Pure espresso..
His house stunk like cat litter.. and it was a little too much the deal with at first..
Especially when all you can think about is scoring your hit..
He finally asked me what I wanted.. I asked him what he had.. and he pulled out a black bag filled with prescription bottles..

"Take a look at them then let me know"... This guy looked almost identical to William S Burroughs.. And even sounded like him..   I looked carefully through the bag, and sat each bottle out into different spots... Ones I wanted, and ones that were worthless..

He had a little bit of everything, they all had different fill dates on them.. Everything from 6 year old morphine, to 2 week old Dilaudid..
I picked out the ones that caught my eye.. 8mg dilaudids, 24mg hydromorphone contin, and 100mg morphine pills... "How much?" I said.. 

We worked out the prices, which were all really cheap.. He wanted 4 dollars for the 8's, and 5 dollars for the other pills... I left there with a baggy full of pills, but not before a few more long stories.. He talked, and talked and talked... I just wanted out of there, I wanted to use.. but he just wanted someone to talk to..
I ended up asking to use his bathroom, and I snorted a morphine and two 8's while I was there...

I hated being there until the drugs kicked in.. then I was more than happy to talk to him.. I stayed there for almost 2 hours, then walked home.. He lived really far from me, so I had a long walk back.. I was going to save enough for a cab, but I got a 24mg dilaudid for the same price as a drive home.. and being an addict the drugs were much more important..

I got home, and it was the same routine; I had a duffel bag I carried the entire way with me... My shoulder was ready to fall off. I ended up going right upstairs, and started playing video games... I passed out, and didn't wake up until 9.. I talked with my parents for a bit, I told them how well everything was going -All a bunch of lies- and then they went to bed..

I stayed up, used a few pills and talked to some people on msn....then went back to bed too..

The next morning I woke up, I was home alone.. And I did what I did every morning.. Got high.. The problem was this was the same routine.. Over and over..

I started going to this old mans house all the time.. Every time I was there however, I had to stay for over an hour before I could leave... He used to tell me it's because he didn't want the cops to know he was selling drugs, he said they'd just think I was visiting him... I think he just wanted someone to talk to.
I don't think he really even needed the money.. I think he was just bored with his life, and alone.. he just wanted a friend..

So, I was his friend... I would clean up for him, in exchange for pills.. I would go to the store for him.. in exchange for pills.. I would sit and talk to him.. all in exchange for pills. I didn't like being there, but it was an easy supply of drugs.. Before every appointment he had to get a refill, I would tell him what to say in order to get stronger pills, and more of them..

There came a point when I was out there everyday, when I had pills or not.. Even when I had no money, he would always give me a pill or two..
I thought I had it made.. I thought everything was too good to be true.. but everything that's good comes to an end..  So that old saying usually proves to be true.. if something seems too good to be true, it is"

I did some work for a week, and I had 350 dollars... So I went to his house, I bought a little of everything he had, and went to the bathroom to use them.. When I came out, I could hear him arguing with someone... It was his daughter, or grand daughter.. I'm not sure who..

I came out, and she said "Who tell hell is this!?" And he said "His name's Neil, I get him to do work around the house for me" .. "Ohh really? " she said.. "Why are all of your pill bottles out?"
She started looking at them.. she was sorting them too.. all by dates... "I'm taking these old medications back" She said, and I'm telling the pharmacist to only give you a weeks worth at a time" You're doing it again aren't you... Just like with *****, he was out here at least once a week, and I knew what you were doing then"

"I think it's time for your to leave... Neil is it?... Before I call the police"

"I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about.. he was going through them to throw the pills out anyway, he said he didn't need them anymore so he was getting rid of them"

"Yes" he said... "I still take some of them though when my back gets too bad, my doctor told me it's fine"
She ended up taking the ones he "Didn't Need" anymore, which were mostly blood thinners and anti-biotics..
Every time she would find a 4 year old bottle of pain killers, he would say "I still use those, they help me get through the night when the pain is Unbearable" .. She took all of the Valium and Ativan he had.. but left the xanax and clonazpam.. She took a couple bottles of painkillers too..

Then she looked at me, and said "Neil, I hate to ask you this, but in order for me to belive you... would you mind emptying your pockets?"
I stashed the bag of pills in my boxers where I always did while I was in the bathroom..
"Yup, No problem".. I pulled everything out, and there was nothing to do with drugs in them.. I told her to check my coat to.. she did.. and found nothing..
"Well I'm sorry Neil, but we heard that he was selling his pills to someone else before.. So we were just concerned"

" I understand" I said  "I would want to make sure that wasn't happening either.. If  ****** comes out here again I'll let you know.." Thanks" she said and left with the Pill bottles in hand.

She was out in her car, and ready to leave...
The old fella said to me "Thanks, you just saved my ass, honestly.. Here... Take the bottle of morphine 100's for free to show my gratitude " I said thanks, and payed him what I owed him for the other stuff, and he let me give him 250 instead of 350 so "I'd have 100 dollars spending money"-His words
... I told him I better leave now, and I'll stop by tomorrow if I can.

I left the house, and took the corner to where the driveway was, and she was still sitting there, texting on her phone... She rolled down the window, and asked me if I needed a drive home.. I told her I was meeting a friend at the coffee shop in town, so she told me to get in then dropped me off there... When I went to get out, I heard a few of the pills in the bottle sort of slide around,.. So I carefully exited the car so it wouldn't make any more noise... when I stood up to shut the door I said "Thanks for the drive, bye" as soon as I said this, I could hear the pills slide and hit the bottom off the container and they made the typical clinking and clanking sound.. but before she could hear I slammed the door fast... and waved good bye to her..
She waved with one hand, and gave me a funny look, but I was high... so I didn't think anything of it..

I went into the bathroom, and took our the gray morphine pills and put them into the bag in my boxers crotch.. I ran the pill bottle under water, and scrapped the label of with a key.. then threw it in the garbage.. I flushed the pill container label down the toilet then went home... I walked past the pharmacy.. and saw her car in there... so I had to run past it to get home, or she would know I was lying..

I made it home without her seeing me, and went to my room... I put my drugs in some hiding spots I had at the time, and left them there... All except for 3 morphine and six 8mg Dilaudids..

But that's not where this story ended..

-Neil