Down for the count..

So I had a seizure at work the other day..

Pretty weird experience.. I've had one before that was drug induced, but I don't remember it..

This one, I remember a lot from.. well, coming out of it at least..
I was at work, had a few hours left and I was on my break..
Then I got dizzy and remember people telling me not to get up..

It's hard to explain, it felt like I was at a campfire when I came out of it.. There was people around and I thought I saw a fire..
Kind of weird.. but an ambulance came and took me to Amherst..

They're not sure what caused it.. They did a full drug screen on me to see if that's what it was.. When it cam back clean they sort of look surprised, which kind of upset me.. but I'm sure with my charts and info in front of them it came as a surprise.. He came into the hallway where my girlfriend and her mom were.. and acted surprised when he read it, and told me he was impressed with me or something? The last time he saw me I was probably in for an overdoes so this was more than likely a warm welcome to him..

It could have been from dehydration and a lack of sleep, but to make sure I had to get a ct scan done today.. My necks a little sore still, but aside from that I feel pretty normal.

I'm glad there was some people around at the time.. but I'm not looking forward to the ambulance bill coming..


Anyway, I was gonna get to this after a few posts, but it has some relevance, so I'll bring it up now..

I was at a friends house, and I had to be check into the Amherst jail that night..

We were both broke at the beginning of the day, so we had to make a score in order to stay high and not get sick..

It was snowing, and almost storming out, so we came up with an idea..

I would go to a store with a big coat on.. under that coat I would have a travel bag, in which I could shove expensive stuff into.

It didn't take long to put that plan into action.. and it worked perfectly.. I went in, grabbed a cart.. and started filling it with big things, boxes of cereal, a bag of potatoes.. and made sort of a wall in my cart..
Then I went to the meat section.. I took my time finding the more expensive stuff, and put it in the middle of my cart... There was a lot of people around.. so I couldn't start stealing in right then and there...

I zipped my zipper down a little, enough to reach the bag.. and started shoving small 10-15 dollar steaks into it.. I filled it up and couldn't close it.. and wheeled the cart close to the edge of the store..
I left it there, and walked out the door..

I walked behind the store, and met up with the guy I came there with... He took the bag, and I took the backstreets up to his house..

He went to trade it for drugs..

I remember waiting at his house, after drying off, and warming up.. it felt like forever for him to come back.. He finally did, and when he came through the door I couldn't wait..

He got 4 pills.. which was enough for us to get high twice each..
I remember the big grey pills.. and how cold I still was.. It was probably less than 10 minutes, but it felt like an hour for him to come back..

When he did, his coat was on the floor and he reached for the kit in the cupboard..
That's how powerful this addiction is... if you've got it.. you're doing it..
As soon as you get it.. you instantly need it 10 times more than you did before..
It's like a shark once they sense blood... You become ravenous and instantly will do anything to get it into you..

We both had a plate and a spoon, and we were each crushing our own pill..
It takes a while, but mine was done pretty quick..
We cooked them up and put our cotton in, and drew up the mixture with our syringes..

I let him inject it into me.. He could do it faster.. I would always shake and it took me a while..
I remember him putting it into me.. That string you get when the needle first pierces a hole, which instantly goes away once the plunger is depressed..

I felt amazing.. I was spinning off into my own little world, when suddenly I started shaking and shivering..
I felt like I was going to throw up and couldn't stop shaking.. "What's wrong with me?" I said..
It was like having the flu and being really cold, and I didn't know what it was, so I got scared..

He told me it was "just cotton fever"
What the **** is that? I said.. I was shivering so bad I couldn't stop.. it was such a weird feeling..
He was trying to explain to me that it would go away after a little while, and it was just a piece of cotton from the filter had gotten into a needle, and went into my veins...

{{Cotton fever is a syndrome that is often associated with intravenous drug use, specifically the use of cotton to filter drugs like heroin.^[1] The cause of the condition has been established to be the endotoxin shed by the bacteria Enterobacter agglomerans which colonizes cotton plants.^[2] A condition very similar to cotton fever was described in the early 1940s among cotton-farm workers. The term cotton fever was coined in 1975 after the syndrome was recognized in intravenous drug users. However, some sources have attributed the symptoms of cotton fever with simple sepsis occasioned by unsafe and unsanitary drug injection practices. This is borne out by the fact cotton fever occurs in equal spread with all injectable drug users, with various filter materials utilized.}}

..So it was a strange feeling.. I passed out pretty quickly.. I'm not sure if this was from the drug, which causes you to nod off or sometimes pass out.. Or the fever itself..

I woke up 4 hours later, and I felt fine... They had told me I was shaking and snoring really loud, and they checked on me to make sure I was breathing.. but said it was obvious by how loud I was snoring..

I woke up mad, I felt like my high has been wasted..

I did my other pill, and it felt amazing, better than ever... Maybe because it eased the symptoms of the cotton fever? or maybe because I wanted it so bad..

I nodded off for a little bit, and felt better, but then realized I needed to come up with a plan quick to score or I would be super sick this weekend..

So off to the store I went...

I repeated what I had done 6 hours earlier.. and scored 200 dollars worth of meat..
This only got me 4 pills.. and I needed 6...

So I tried to borrow money... I ended up getting enough for 1 more.. but I only had 5..

This left me with no other choice, but to divide it up evenly into 6 capsules.. Which left me about 20mg's in each one, or 40mgs each day.. which was more than enough to get me through the weekend..

The only thing I really wanted was a needle.. I didn't want to waste it by snorting it... I could get two good shots out of each capsule if I wanted to.. but snorting it I needed the whole thing to even feel anything..

I went to the pharmacy, and got them to make up my 2 cards.. The other had xanax in it..
and I was waiting in the tims across the street from the jail, with a needle in my coat.. I thought about how I could get in in there.. I tried to come up with an idea, but I couldn't think of one... I thought if I threw it over the fence before I went in, I could come back to get it..

I was sitting, and waiting... I bought a bottle of water..
And I couldn't help myself..

I popped one of the pills out of the card, and crushed it up in the bathroom.. I added it the bottom of a can of pop.. which I tore up..
I cooked it up, and drew the mix into the needle..
I also took 5-10 xanax with some water from the tap..


I sat in there for a while.. I knew I had to be in there in 20 minutes.. so I waited another 5 minutes or so.. I injected it.. and sat there... needle in my hand, nodding off.. I was in heaven..

..Someone knocked on the door... It woke me out of my stupor, and I left to walk across the street.. I lit a smoke, and slowly walked across the street.. It was really dark, and I only had a second.. so I threw the needle across after I wrapped it up in leaves and an elastic.. not very smart, but I assumed it would work..

I rang the bell, and the officer let me in..

I walked past my needle, and I knew it looked out of place, but there was nothing I could do now..

So he took me through the door..