Another quick score..

Woke up in the morning, Again I was broke, and craving..

I asked myself this question almost everyday for 5-6 years..."How am I going to get a pill today?"
.. Sometimes it was easy... but most of the time it was a struggle, just scraping together 40 dollars a day when you're not working is harder than you'd think.. It's a full time job staying high.. but I always managed to do it..


It was snowing on a Tuesday morning.. I looked at my cellphone and had a missed call..
I looked... Diaz had called and left me a voice mail...
" I got my script... and I have an order for you to fill.. I'll give you a great deal on them!"

Diaz got 18mg hydromorphone contins... which were actually not that common, it's usually just 6's, 12's, 24's and 30's.. you don't see very much of the other ones..

And at the end of the message he said he has a present for me..

.. I got a bath, got dressed, and then called him back... He told me what he needed... which was pretty basic stuff... I had to go to Amherst to get it, because the stores around here didn't have what he wanted..

He wanted portable dvd players and mp3 players.. he asked if I could get a flip camera, and he said he'd take razor blades as well, any kind, guys or girls..

I paid someone 10 dollars to drive me up.. Which I had to lie about to get.. I asked the guy if I could borrow a pill before I left.. but he told me no... which pissed me off at the time... but I left anyway..

Once I got to Amherst I went to a few different stores..
At the first store, I got 2 portable dvd players which were worth close to 100dollars at the time..
They went in my backpack, and I was off to another store.. They had mp4 players, which also played video.. and they had 2 psp's on the counter...

The guy working was responsible for two departments.. and he was over in the other one.. I grabbed 3 mp4 players, and peeled the magnetic strip off them.. I slipped them into my coat after a quick check from side to side to make sure he wasn't looking..

He came over maybe 10 seconds after I had them all situated in my bag... He came over to me and told me I would have to leave my bag outside of the area.. so I walked around the corner.. and sat it there... I looked up and there were 2 psp's sitting on a ledge behind the counter where you pay.. I opened the zipper on my bag just enough to slip one in if I could get it...
I walked back through the metal detectors.. and started looking through the discount game bin..

He came over to me quickly... which scared me, and asked me if there was anything he could help me with..
I said "Actually there is... I'm looking for a new war game called _______ (something made up).. do you have it?" ... "Let me check in the computer sir.."

I waited... he checked and told me he didn't have it... I asked him if he could order it, and he told me he could.. he took a piece of paper and wrote it down.. then said he had to ask his supervisor to come over to order it... he left the area.. this was my only chance..

I walked over and knocked the psp onto the floor, it landed right beside my bag... this avoided the metal strip detectors... I quickley walked through them, and towards my bag.. I slipped the psp into my bag and put it on... And he came back... " Ok, he said I can put it on the order sheet... I just need your info, an I.D and a number where I can reach you.. "

I told him "I'm going to check a few other stores first, and if it's not there I'll come back here. "

"Ok sir, see you then"..

I walked out of the store.. than basically ran the rest of the way... I ran across a busy street, towards a grocery store on the other side of the area.. far away from the store  I was just at... I knew I had enough to get me through the week... but I wanted as many pills out of the bottle as I could get...

I walked into the next and last store... I grabbed a cart.. and a flyer.. I covered my face walking in with the flyer.. and pretended I was actually shopping in case I was being watched... I filled the cart with normal things people buy... I avoided the pharmacy area until the very end..

I had a re-usable bag which I had in the top basket of the cart..
As I walked towards the razor blades my heart started racing..
Most of the razor blades were behind a case that beeps when you open it... I opened it, and grabbed 4 of the most expensive blades in one stack.. and closed it... it probably looked like I grabbed one..
I grabbed a tooth brush, some toothpaste.. and kept an eye out for security, floor walkers.. or employees..
No one was around.. I grabbed some razor kits.. the most expensive ones there again... guys and girls.. and shoved them in my re-usable bag as well as my 4 packs of razors... After I did that.. I pulled on some wires that were right beside the plastic beeping case..

Well, I thought I would take 4 more and leave... but when I opened it... it didn't beep...
I took at least 12 packs of razor blades... again the most expensive kind.. and quickly left the area after chucking them into my bag..

I walked around the store some more, and made sure no one was fallowing me..
I went towards the produce section, and left my cart there.. sort of hidden.. I grabbed the bag.. and sat there looking at produce, but I was actually looking around for the best time to avoid the beepers... I saw my chance... no one was around... So I walked out, and lifted the bag up, and to the left of the detecter where it couldn't sense it.. I kept on walking... No beepers went off, and I just kept walking... I took a left towards the rest of the mall, and left through the main entrance..

I called the guy up.. and told him I got him more than what he wanted... and I needed a drive back... he told me to take a cab and he would give me the 23 dollars at the door..

The cab came quick.. and I jumped in... I told him where I was going, and we left...

The entire drive there was torture... I was getting sick... really sick.. and I thought I wasn't going to make it without throwing up or shitting right in the car... I finally got there, and he said "23 dollars please"
I told him I had to run to the door to get it... he told me I had to pay before I left the cab...
so I said "I'll leave my book bag here and my wallet.. obviously I'm coming back"
"OK" he said... "But be quick"

I ran to the door, and told him I needed the money... "Where's the stuff?" Diaz said.... I told him that I had to leave it in the cab... he gave me the money, and watched me go towards the cab.. he didn't trust me.. and Most dealers don't trust addicts..

I paid, grabbed my stuff and left..

I went inside with Diaz, and we went right upstairs to his bedroom.. his kids were home..
Which to think about is pretty disturbing now... but it was a routine to me..

I pulled out the razor blades... I had almost 20, I can't remember exactly how many.. but it was 17-20 packs or so.. He gave me 2 pills for each of them..

I pulled out the 2 portable dvd players, and told him I wanted 5 for each.. he agreed and gave them to me..
I pulled out the mp4 players, and told him I wanted 5 each for them too, but he told me he'd only pay 3... got 10 for 3 after some pickering..

He gave me almost 70 of his pills, and I still had a psp... He got 90 pills, and had 20 left... I told him I'd trade him them for the other 20... but he told me he needed them..

"Well how about 150 bucks?" ... "125?" Diaz said... No, I want at least $140.00 or I'll just go trade it for 5 30's to Marcus' .. which he would have gladly..

Ok, I have 130 on me, but the rest will be for the cab" ... I agreed.. and asked if I could use his bathroom...
He said yes, and I told him I needed a spoon and a plate... he already had one in his room because he used himself..

I snorted 2 of them, and walked home...I was gagging the whole way, and it was close to 2pm.. I was holding myself back from throwing up... but I couldn't help it... I threw up in the middle of the street..
But before going home, I went to the pharmacy, and bought some gum, which I chewed two pieces before I paid for it.. diabetic needles... I also got some polysporin and some Gatorade..

I went to the local store and bought 2 packs of smokes, then went back home..

I took another one of the pills.. and crushed it up and injected it..

I was super high..

I stashed everything in my room.. and thought about what I was going to do the rest of the day... just then I got a text...


-Neil