First try at quiting..

The gig was up.. It was out in the open now..

We ended up going back home to talk..

They asked a lot of questions, and I gave them an honest answer to all of them... Except one..
They asked me how much I owed to drug dealers.. And I told them 400..

It was really closer to 200-250 all together..

They called the local detox center, and I was able to get in, but it was in a few days.. and I didn't want to be sick the whole time.. I had 10 4's on me, and I was sick right then... I told them I was going up to get a bath.. I turned on the water, and got my clothes all ready.. I also grabbed a battery, and my wallet with my bill in it..

I crushed 5 of the pills up, and snorted them.. then got my bath as quick as I could..

I did everything I could to act like I was still sick, or they would have known I had some drugs on me..
I laid down on the couch, and they brought me gravol and imodium, while they read up about opiate addiction.. they didn't know it or understand it..

I was nodding off, but I told them I was tired and sick and the gravol was making me even more tired..

They took me to the hospital, and the doctor gave me a few valium and some codeine for coming down until I went into detox..

it helped my buzz grow, and I made it through those 3 days with the last 5 pills I had.. I did 3 the first day with my other medication, and two the next day..

I was OK, I wasn't sick, so it wasn't the bad... my parents weren't mad at me.. they knew it wasn't my fault, I was just an addict.. and it was a disease that needed to be cured..

It was the day before I was supposed to go to detox.. mom got me a bunch of treats, and pop, a calling card.. stuff like that. I brought my disc man, burned few cd's and stuff.. Anyway, dad came home from work.. and they called me out into the kitchen..

They had about 400 dollars sitting on the table.. and asked me how long it would take me to go and pay back my drug dealer.. I told them it would take about 30 minutes to get there and back.. They asked me one more time if I would just please tell them who it was, and I told them I couldn't, or I'd be in even more trouble..

I walked down to see Marcus... and went in.. I payed him the 150 I owed him... Then spent the rest on drugs.. I figured if I'm going to quit,I'm going to make sure I have one last really fun time with them..

And that's the addiction talking, you want it and want it, and you convince yourself one last time won't hurt you..  I bought a lot of drugs with 250 dollars.. and he gave me a deal.. I bought 15 valium,  10 8's and 2 30's... I shoved it in the bottom of my shoes, under my insoles..

When I got home, my mom hugged me, and said "it's OK Neil, It's all over"

They wanted to search my clothes, and they did... everything.. but they didn't search my shoes..

I left them there that night.. I snorted 2 8's at Marcus' house.. so I figured I'd just use them at detox..

.. In the morning when I packed for my 14 day stay... I packed 10 smokes in with my luggage, under the lining, and a book of matches..

I had everything I needed, and I figured, this is it, after my last few pills are gone, it'll be over.. I'll be clean, and life will be back to normal...

I was on my way to detox for the first time of many stays.. But that's going to be tomorrow's post.

-Thanks for reading, and for not judging.

-Neil